Dawn of War Codex

[DISCLAIMER: this is a work of Satire, this post is purely for comedy because i was bored. do not take anything i say from this post seriously.... apart from this sentence. i am in no way bashing the mod or the contributors of said mod. k so now thats out of the way, enjoy!]


ohai. i totally went and hacked caeltos's computer. hidden among the midget porn i found some patch notes; thought i might post it here Kappa

Orks

Storm boys now have the "Flyin Packz" upgrade in T3, only purchasable after having purchased "Improved Rokkit packz".
Flyin packz now grant a jump range of 500
Storm boyz now ignore the base aura damage resistance
Storm boyz are now suppression immune
Storm boyz now resist 90% of piercing damage
Storm boy nob leader damage type from "Melee_Heavy" to "Base_Melee"*
Shoota boy damage type from "Piercing" to ""Melta"
"Aiming wotz dat?" now does ability knockback on top of its existing effect.
Looted tank pathing fixed

Eldar

D cannons moved to T1 from T3
D cannons cost adjusted from 400/40 to 200/0
D cannons now have fire on the move with an accuracy of 150%
D cannons no longer have a setup time
D cannons now move at speed 12
D cannons renamed to "Rambo Cannon"
Seer council now have Super heavy infrantry armor
Banshees now move at speed 20
Banshees now do 200% more damage to retreating units
Dark reapers changed from Heavy infantry to infantry, so they dont get oneshot by one libby smite Kappa
Autarch drop in grenades now do melta damage and snares vehicles for 200 seconds
Fire Prism Pathing fixed

Space Marine

Force Commander health from 820 to 2000 at level 1
Force Commander "Flesh over steel" ability now also snares nearby infantry in a 50 radius
Force Commander "Defend" now grants invisibility when used.
Force Commander Speed reduction penalty removed from "Defend"
Force Commander "Defend" now increases speed by 10
Force Commander "Battlecry" now grants the ability to call in tyranid units from base for 60 seconds
Techmarine Turrets and beacons are now free to build
Units reinforced from techmarine relays are free to reinforce
Techmarine now starts with a turret on his shoulder instead of that useless servo arm
Apothecary heal now grants the effects of angels of death to the effected unit for 200 seconds
Apothecary heal now instantly kills any nearby enemy units
Apothecary "Full auto" now does ability knockback
Tactical Marines now start with combi melta sniper rifles
Devastator squad setup time removed
Assault marines now do Base melee damage*
Librarian now starts with all the starting abilites of all the SM commanders, Battlecry, Heal, Turret, Beacon and We are the hammer!
If there is a chaos enemy player, librarian will occasionally smite your own units with 400% smites normal damage
Predator Tank pathing fixed

Tyranids

Termaguants and hormagaunts now both do melta damage
Warriors now grant Melee synapse, Ranged synapse, melee resist and Improved synapse to all nearby tyranid units in a radius of 80
Warrior health increased from 330 to 1000
Warrior brood now has vehicle armor
Carnifex moved from T3 to T1
Your first carifex is now free to produce
Carnifex's can now cap points
Spore mines can now be spawned anywhere on the battlefield for free with no build time, you can even build them through the fog of war
Spore mines now do Heavy melee damage
Spore mines now snare all enemy units when detonated in a radius of 40
Genestealers now have 30 models
Genestealers melee skill from 80 to 100
Genestealers melee special attack now deals ability knockback
Genestealers Rending talons now only adds melee_heavy, not removed it. so they do both heavy melee and power melee at the same time.
Genestealers now inflict a DoT on hit of 10 melee heavy damage per second
Zoanthropes now have a setup time
Zoanthropes now have the "All ur base are belong to us" ability, this ability has a range of 100, can be fired through the fog of war and deals 100 base melee damage*

Chaos Space marines

Heretic health from 75 to 300
Heretic doomblast no longer removes a model
Heretic doomblast cooldown removed
Plague marines speed is now 10
Tzzetch worship effect now lasts 20 seconds after worship is stopped
Nurgle worship is now actually useful past T1
Khorne worship now causes heretics to kill themseleves for the blood god
Chaos Predator tank pathing fixed

Imperial guard

Guardsmen upkeep from 2.44 to 0
Guardsmen are now free to produce
Guardsmen damage increased from 4.12 to 40
Manticores move from T2 to T1
Banewolf is now free to produce
Leman russ is now free to produce
Leman russ pathing fixed
Kasrkin moved from T3 to T1
Baneblade cost from 1000/200 to 180/30

Grey knights

Inquisitorial storm troopers can now retreat
Strike squad can now retreat
Interceptors can now retreat
Rhino can now retreat
Purgation can now retreat
Purifiers can now retreat
Terminator Librarian can now retreat
GK Dreadnought can now retreat
Vindicare Assasin can now retreat
Grey Knight terminators can now retreat
Paladins can now retreat
Land raider Crusader can now retreat


There might be more changes, let me see if i cant dig deeper Kappa

*Base melee has a 100000000 damage modifier to Bases and other structures.

In dota there is -wtf mode (LOL did a knockoff of it too, can't recall the name) where all spell costs and cooldowns are set to nothing. These changes remind me of that a lot Full on OP vs OP fights!

My favorite was to do -ar -dm in addition: -AR all random, you get a random hero and -DM death match, every time you die you get a new hero (random cause of AR). So much fun!

I didn't notice any changes in the Eldar list

Well at first I thought that was for real, but then I read the following "xxx units pathing fixed" which gave it away as satire.

We can actually add these changes just for fun. You know, another mode. Just to see the world burning
However, didn't get the path fix jokes :/

If everything becomes OP...does it mean that the game is balanced?

I agree with all of this changes but the thing is that the BB: "Baneblade cost from 1000/200 to 180/30" still overshadowed by leman spam "Leman russ is now free to produce" I would suggest making the BB a dropeable unit on T1 costing 0 red and dealing 999 Base_Melee damage upond land.

Cheekie Monkie wrote:If everything becomes OP...does it mean that the game is balanced?

There different ways of defining balance. Top-down balance, bottom-up balance etc.

Of course, even if it was balanced, that wouldn't make it fun.

General

* Flamer weapons now damage infantry inside transports

Nurgle worship is now actually useful past T1

Kappa

Hehe OP owns.
Surprised there was no LA changes - no cost infiltrate, etc


Also wtf is Kappa? Pet name for Caeltos?

ytimk wrote:Also wtf is Kappa? Pet name for Caeltos?

It's this from Twitch:

Vapor wrote:General

* Flamer weapons now damage infantry inside transports

"No Escape", huh?